Carpe Diem
by Hgirl
Summary: “Calleigh? Are you okay?” He waited to be at the other end of the row of lockers before asking for her again, “Calleigh, where are you?”" HC COMPLETE
1. Bleeding

Disclaimer: Characters aren't mine.

A/N: I used to study science in college then, I moved on to psychology. Which is why I'm a semester behind, but that's not the point... I had a chemistry class, of course, and some experiments were pretty dangerous. This story came from something that happened to me, although not to that extent and not exactly in the same manner. Anyway... hope you enjoy!  
P.S: Karen, my own suggestions have grown on me ;) You'll understand what I mean...

_000_

Chapter 1: Bleeding

"Calleigh!" Speed said urgently, seeing his teammate and friend run out of the lab with a hand covering her face. The other, he saw, was used to help shrug her lab coat off.

"Calleigh, wait!" He pushed the adjacent lab door and exited into the hallway, following her. "What happened?" He was jogging down the hallway, trying to catch up to her as she quickly headed for the locker room.

He stopped at the door, holding back from barging in; maybe she needed to be alone. No, he decided, he'd check up on her and if she didn't want to see him or talk to him, then he'd leave, but not before making sure she was okay.

Speed pushed the door, asking, "Calleigh? Are you okay?" He waited to be at the other end of the row of lockers before asking for her again, "Calleigh, where are you?"

That's when he saw her. She was leaning over the sink, holding her loose hair over her shoulder with one hand and flushing something out of her eye, maybe, with her other hand- he couldn't tell from where he stood. He cautiously approached, knowing very well that if she had run off, avoiding his summons, it was obviously for a good reason.

"Calleigh?" he asked gently, stepping forward. He saw red; saw blood streaming down her nose, mingling with the running water and flowing down the drain.

"God! What happened?" He was beginning to panic, "Should I get someone?" Why wouldn't she answer him he wondered, infuriated. What the hell was the matter with her?

Speed, uncharistically, placed a gentle hand on her back. "Tell me you're okay-"

He felt uneasy and removed his hand just as quickly as she turned the faucet off and straightened to look at her reflection in the mirror.

"No," she spoke slowly, "I'm fine." Had she heard his inquiry or had she just given her usual answer to anyone who wondered how she was doing?

She squinted, looking at her face in the mirror.

"What the hell happened?" Speed asked. She could tell from the way his eyes were fixating her that he wouldn't take any B.S. from her.

"I was working with Hydrochloric Acid concentrate under the fume hood and, I got distracted and spilled some..." She paused to cough. "While trying to clean up the mess, I inadvertently inhaled fumes-"

"Are you sure you're okay?" He softened a bit.

"Yeah," her voice was hoarse, "I may have a few dead brain cells, though- God, that rushed right up. I thought I was gonna pass out-" She placed a hand on her chest, "You should have seen how fast and how big the fume cloud got-"

Through her gestures, she suddenly grabbed on the side of the sink as if she had just had a short moment of light-headedness.

"Maybe you should sit down." Speed took her arm, guiding her to the near by bench. "How are you feeling?" He looked over her features and stared her down.

"Do I have any burns on my skin?" she asked, fear tinting her voice. She was sweating profusely now and it was very unlike her.

"No-" he diverted his eyes, "I ah, I'm sorry- didn't mean to stare... why? You had your protective eyewear on, right?"

"Tim." She said sternly.

Of course, she did.

"Yeah, okay... just checking." He saw a trail of blood start down from her nose at a very slow pace. "Your nose- it's bleeding again."

"Oh," she placed two fingers under it to try to hold back the blood. Speed walked over to the first bathroom stall and brought her some toilet paper.

She coughed again and started wheezing.

"Calleigh," Speed was now more than concerned... he was down right terrified. "We need to get you to a hospital. I'll call an ambulance."

Speed fumbled nervously for his cell phone. He'd always been calm in these types of nerve-racking situations, but this was Calleigh. The term 'emergency' took on a whole other meaning.

While, he anxiously waited for the 911 call to be answered, he told Calleigh to lie down on the bench.

She did as told, unable to speak at this point, but, as quickly as she had put her head down on Speed's lap, she quickly rose up, grabbing her throat and, even with Speed's hand grasping for her, she fell off the bench onto the hard locker room floor.

Speed recognized the bubbly sound coming from her airways. His grandfather, when dying of lung cancer, had made the same sounds during his last moments. Her skin was changing to a bluish-grey color. Speed knew she was suffocating.

TBC...


	2. On the way

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Chapter 2: On the way

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"The lungs contain millions of small, elastic air sacs called alveoli. With each breath, these air sacs take in oxygen and release carbon dioxide, a waste product of the metabolism. Normally, the exchange of oxygen and carbon dioxide takes place without problems. But, sometimes, increased pressure in the blood vessels in the lungs forces fluid into the air sacs, filling your lungs with fluid and preventing them from absorbing oxygen — a condition called pulmonary edema. This is what your teammate suffered from, Mr. Speedle," the doctor explained.

Speed's face was blank. He looked over at Calleigh who was extremely pale and was having blood drawn from her wrist. Her eyes were closed and oxygen was being administered through a face mask. Speed glanced at the machine assisting Calleigh's breathing and turned away.

She received Roxanol; morphine to relieve her shortness of breath and associated anxiety, some Aspirin and blood pressure medications to raise it.

The doctor continued, "In most cases, heart problems are the cause of pulmonary edema, but fluid can accumulate in your lungs for other reasons, including lung problems such as pneumonia, exposure to certain toxins and medications, and climbing or living at high altitudes. We're just taking some blood to check arterial blood gas concentrations."

"Yeah." Speed was at a loss for words. He left the room to inform the rest of the group on how their beloved ballistics expert was doing.

"What's going on in there?" Eric asked, getting up to greet his colleague and friend.

"They're, ah, they're taking some blood to check the amount of oxygen and carbon dioxide she has..."

"H's on his way. I called him to explain our absence-"

"I keep thinking that if I had known about this, I could have taken her immediately... I could have gotten help faster

or - "

"You did everything you could," Eric interrupted. "Don't worry, man, I'm sure she's going to be fine... prompt treatment is bound to heighten her chances."

"I hope she's okay." Speed slumped in a nearby chair.

"I hope so too." Eric said honestly, joining him in worry.

It was very late in the evening when Horatio walked down the hallway, intending to check up on his team hard at work. He appreciated how his team would give their 150 , fighting sleep with caffeine and, for Speed, music. It was a hard and exhausting case yet the troops were strong and Horatio wouldn't hold back from complimenting them on their relentlessness to finish the demanding job. He happily chose to visit Calleigh first, not paying attention to the reproach Speed had given him a while back about favouritism.

He prowled deliberately, enjoying the anticipation of going to see her. He couldn't hide it... she was his favorite.

When she had sat across him in the break room, a while back, and had unconsciously brushed her foot against his thigh, he had been barely able to contain the masculine reaction.

flashback

Horatio shifted in his seat, clearing his throat to start a conversation with Alexx, leaning against the counter, sipping her coffee.

Trying to focus on Alexx talking about her kids, Horatio classified Calleigh's touch as accidental. Until, she did it again. This time, he didn't resist the urge of looking at her from the corner of his eye, but all he saw was her seemingly deep in conversation with Speed.

A second later, his eyes were back on Alexx, who hadn't even notice the moment of inattention.

Lunch went on, Calleigh dragging behind. She did eat slowly, but this was ridiculous. Horatio, usually late to start lunch and early to finish to get back to work as quickly as possible, purposely stayed behind.

When the room cleared and he and Calleigh were left alone, he asked, deliberately low, "Playing footsie with me, Calleigh?"

He gazed at her and Calleigh couldn't help but blush at his solid look, lips curving into a smile.

Scrambling through the various replies of 'you wish' that passed through her mind, she said, "If I remember correctly, I think I said I was gonna get back at you for what you did to me last week. Payback's a bitch, Handsome." She smiled with a seductive glint in her eye.

end of flashback

Horatio smiled at the memory while walking down the lab's corridor, slowly coming back to the present.

When he saw the discarded piece of clothing stuck between a lab door and doorframe, he accelerated his pace.

He crouched, freed the garment and rose, eyes in search of the cheerful blonde. He stepped inside the lab, recognizing a faint odor of HCL - he hadn't graduated with a degree in chemistry for nothing - and walked over to the fume hood. Knowing that it was safely on, hearing only the humming of the machine, he called: "Calleigh-"

His voice echoed in the lab. She should have been standing here, he thought. He looked around and found her safety glasses. He wondered what had happened- where she had run off to so quickly that she forgot to turn the fume hood off...

His heart was racing. If something had happened to her, he'd regret having been so coward as to go any further than flirting. He loved her, but no one else knew. At that instant, his cell phone rang.

TBC...


	3. Fulloflove, a step away from empty space

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Chapter 3: Full of love, a step away from empty space

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Speeding towards the hospital, Horatio mulled over their relationship. He wasn't ready; the more she advanced, the more he backed away. He was aware of his actions and, frankly, it wasn't always conscious, but somehow this situation had pushed him forward. His heart capsized. He'd never gotten farther than non-work related conversations, sometimes moving hazardously beyond the friendly flirtatious boundary.

Completely submerged in his thoughts, head spinning, the teeth-jarring growl of the rumble strips made him snap out of it.

"Shit." He steered the Hummer back on the road and breathed deeply. This was affecting him way too much. He re-centered himself and kept the road as his focal point. Having an accident would be the end of it.

_000_

"Miss Duquesne, I'm glad you're back with us- how are you feeling?" The doctor asked.

"I've felt better," Calleigh smiled weakly. Her voice was coarse. "What happened?"

"You had a severe drop in blood pressure. Your teammate, Speedle, said you accidentally inhaled fumes. By what he described, you suffered from a few of the many acute effects this can have on your body. I have a few questions to ask you, are you up for that?"

Between jagged breaths, she said, "My... my nose was bleeding-"

"Yeah, it was. So you remember?"

She nodded, holding her sore throat. It was painful to talk.

"We did a scan anyway and, the good news is, you didn't suffer from a head injury. I'll go ahead and ask you some questions- just nod or shake your head- your respiratory tract needs to rest." The doctor continued, "Have you ever had cardiovascular or lung disease?"

"She's in perfect health," Calleigh recognized the velour voice. Horatio had stepped in.

Calleigh, extremely happy to be able to see him again, smiled so hard that tears threatened to fall.

Horatio, seeing the emotions through her eyes, walked directly to her. Eyes never leaving hers, he asked the doctor, "Are you sure this is necessary?"  
referring to the patches attached to Calleigh's skin that received her heart's electrical impulses.

"The ECG is just as a precaution, Mr... ah - "

"Caine. But, you do know what caused this-" It tore him apart to see her like this.

"Yes, we know what caused it. That's why we're not going any further with tests- We're just tracking heartbeat regulation with the electrocardiogram."

Trying to reassure a distraught and impatient man, the doctor explained, "There have been no complications probably due to the good condition of Miss Duquesne's heart."

"She does have a good heart." Horatio meant it both ways.

"Sir, are you a family member?" The doctor felt the need to ask, even though it seemed pretty clear that he was close to Calleigh.

"Um," he looked back at Calleigh with loving eyes, "No," It stung to tell the truth, "I work with her." Never would Horatio have said that he was her boss. That just wasn't how he saw their relationship.

"Well, then, I'll ask you to stay for only a short while- There are things I need to speak to her about..."

Calleigh interrupted, "Please-"she drew a difficult breath, "Let him stay."

The doctor, after some hesitation, nodded and continued to deliver the important information to his patient. "I want you to get at least seven hours of sleep per night and," he looked at Horatio, "With your co-worker's covering for you or your boss' consent, you might want to take a nap during the day if you feel tired. Avoid drinking alcohol, because it makes your lungs and heart work harder. Last and not least, be careful."  
He firmly held the chart in his hands, "I know lab work exposes you to risks, but if this happens again, you might not be as lucky."

"We'll watch over her," Horatio said with conviction. And by 'we' he meant him.

Calleigh shook her head at him. She couldn't believe what she had gotten herself into; she didn't want his pity, but God, was there anything she wanted more than him?

The doctor nodded an okay than quietly left the room.

"You look a little frazzled," Horatio smirked at the never-in-a-bad mood Calleigh.

They were playing that game again, but her reply wasn't the one he was hoping for. "I'm sorry about what happened-"

"What are you talking about? An apology really isn't necessary - It wasn't your fault."

He just made her feel worse. She was thinking of him when it happened. Why hadn't he opened up to her? Why hadn't he taken her in his arms when she so desperately wanted him to? Damn that Yelina for having put Horatio through so much that he didn't know when someone who loved him stood before him. Yelina wasn't the only one who deserved to be happy, but, through her games of flaunting Stetler around, she made Horatio doubt who he was. It wasn't complicated to see that he's a man who's suffered many losses in his life and who's still trying to find peace after the death of his brother. A man who needs someone to love and to love him back. The caring he has for the victims through his job keeps him alive and permits him to go on. He's been searching for love and not the kind Yelina is offering. A feeling that can be shared- not the feeling that you get when you love someone- but the one you get when its mutual. Equal in intensity. Blinding true love.

"Calleigh, I'm so grateful that you're okay-" he said, his voice full of relief.

She reached for him with her hand, but he moved away. She didn't understand why he did that every time; he moved close to her like he wanted her to draw him near, yet he doesn't let her as if he'll get burned if he touches her. Why was he resisting?

Losing hope, Calleigh hid the immense disappointment that made her cringe inwardly.

She looked away, knowing that if she looked in his eyes, she'd be frail before them and Calleigh Duquesne was a strong woman. In her mind, she wasn't his firearms expert anymore; she wasn't the girl who ran away from home, away from her drunken parents... She felt like a child, believing in Santa Claus like she believed as a woman that a man like Horatio existed. And suddenly, Santa didn't exist and he had let her down.

"Are you okay?" he asked, concern tinting his tone.

She winced at her hurting heart. She didn't want concern- she wanted love; can't live without the other love.

Seeing that she hid away, turning on her side, he walked around the hospital bed, saying, "Calleigh, you don't have to hide from me."

But she did. If she didn't, she was lost.

"If you're hurting, I'll get the doctor-"

She was in pain, but no doctor could save her.  
Days would pass and, soon enough, Calleigh would be back in the field. Being the only thing she could be, his ballistics expert.

TBC...


	4. Break in

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Chapter 4: Break-in

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Horatio was brought out of sleep by the ring of his cell phone. Eyes instantly open, he sat up quickly, pushing his comforter back and reached for the ringing device. It was rare to catch him grunt, always moving quite effortlessly, but this was an exception. Calleigh had been in the hospital and he couldn't take his mind off of her. He had only just drifted off, sleep winning over his tired body, when an outside element disturbed him. He held his head, perhaps he'd sat up too quickly, glancing at the alarm clock on his bedside table, while reaching towards it for his cell.

Wiping the sleep from his eyes, he checked the caller ID on the glowing screen. It was dispatch. Code 31. Homicide.

_000_

Stepping out of the Hummer, sunglasses over his eyes, Horatio strode briskly, slipping under the yellow crime scene tape, surrounding a house in this wealthy neighborhood. The valiant man with red hair unintentionally drew the crowd that had formed at the perimeter. Over the sight of his pristine suit, whispers were heard about the business identification in black letters on the side of his large vehicle. More curiosity arose.

"Frank," Horatio called, seeing him, temporarily halting Tripp from scribbling on his opened notepad.

The burly detective nodded, glancing in the CSI supervisor's direction as he continued to question the woman before him.

Horatio paused alongside him and studied the seemingly distraught woman. She was beautiful: tall with dark brown hair, but her eyes were red and puffy. Her voice was shaky and slow compared to her quick movements as she spoke.

"Can I go see my daughter now?" she asked, mouth trembling shut at the end of the question.

Frank glanced at Horatio then answered, "Sure," stepping aside to let her pass them.

Horatio watched the woman slowly amble on the cement walkway going from the front porch to the driveway. "Victim's wife?" he inquired a confirmation.

"Yeah. Mrs. Morris found her husband this morning around seven and called the cops."

"Why did she come home so late?" Horatio narrowed his eyes.

"She works nights."

Horatio looked away, "And the daughter?"

"There are two, actually. A fifteen year old who was sleeping over at a friend's house- she's still there- and the youngest, Sandy, seven year old over there," Tripp tipped his head in her direction, "was apparently home with her dad- might have been woken up by the commotion..."

"So," Horatio assessed lowly, "we may have a witness."

"Yeah, except, she hasn't said much to anyone since we got here."

Horatio looked at the little girl, the wind taken out of his sails. She was no bigger than Horatio's niece, Madison.

Frank glanced at the imposing white house, "Alexx is already inside... so is Calleigh."

"What?" Horatio asked, suddenly switching priorities in his mind, taking his shades off, "I thought she needed to

rest - "

Frank shrugged.

Holding back from showing his disarray, Horatio decided to take it up with her and left Frank to go inside.

Entering the broken in home, he immediately found the detective and coroner hard at work.

A quick glance around and Horatio knew the murderer had most probably stolen from this rich man's house. Some things seemed to be missing, most of them broken. Glass table shattered, The man, he deduced as the homeowner, was tied to a kitchen chair and had been brutally murdered.

Horatio snapped on a pair of latex gloves and stepped closer.

"Horatio -" Alexx said, knowing his gait, keeping her eyes on the victim.

"Good morning," Horatio's gaze strayed from Alexx to Calleigh.

"Not for him," Alexx stated blankly, moving behind the victim, marking where she would cut through the rope.

Horatio checked his gun and fingered his badge nervously. Calleigh was completely focused on gathering evidence, moving around the victim, searching for anything to tag. Decidedly, Horatio thought, she was ignoring him. Regrettably, he missed the longing look aimed at him before she looked away, chased by his intense gaze coming back to rest on her.

Shaking his head and directing all his concentration onto the case at hand, even though it was obvious, he asked, "COD, Alexx?"

"Puncture of the aorta, victim bled out."

"At approximately what time, Alexx?" He waited patiently as Alexx made a small incision, all the while glancing at Calleigh.

"Liver temp. indicates..." the M.E. read the thermometer, "around three am." She straightened.

"Okay." Horatio nodded. "Alexx - " he said her name deliberately soft, drawing her attention.

It worked and she held his eyes.

"Any word on Eric?" Horatio asked lowly.

Answering with her eyes, she looked at the busy blonde processing the scene, "She told me she was filling in for him." Not refraining from showing Horatio her initial surprised reaction, she continued, "But, honey, I know Eric was on his way- she purposely took his shift..." Calleigh stepped closer, within earshot and Alexx suddenly fell silent.

"Okay. Thank you, Alexx."

The medical examiner smiled faintly, then turned, ordering the body haulers to do their job.

"Calleigh," Horatio came near her, tilting his head, showing her nothing but concern, "What are you doing here?"

"I'll take care of tool marks and let you know what I find-"she said, expressionless.

He knew she was hearing, but not listening.

Horatio edged closer, the noise made by the body haulers annoying him just as much as an impassive Calleigh. But, he never did raise his voice to any woman.

He watched her at close distance and not a muscle in her body flinched in response.

Resigned in front of her unreadable attitude, he didn't push the subject and simply addressed her, "I'd like to speak to you later on, when you have minute - "

She looked at him, their faces merely inches away from each other, and smiled falsely.

With the request he added a location, "Come see me in my office."

His professionalism smoothing his inner confusion and befuddled emotions, he added, "In the meantime, got anything for me?"

Surprisingly, her face somewhat changed and, running in methodological mode, she replied, "Bagged a few hairs, will send them to trace along with the rope; there might be skin cells..." She continued, but all Horatio could think about as he watched her was that he'd risk everything; his job, his life, his heart to not simply be in this platonic relationship with her.

"Good. Keep me posted," he replied, removing the image of her lips onto his from his mind. He couldn't afford to leisurely stay back with her and watch, so he gave her what she wanted; space to work.

Horatio made his way back outside, fumbling with his shades, not quite ready to put them back on yet. The group of nosy people from earlier had dissipated; the slow and tedious investigative process boring them. Most of the patrol cars had left except for one remaining: for the officer standing near Horatio, guarding the door. Horatio observed Sandy and her mother and ambled towards the two of them.

Sandy's mother rose, "Please tell me you're not here to ask me what happened - I've already told them everything I knew. Twice."

"Mrs. Morris - "

"Please, call me Jennifer - " the woman obviously didn't want to be reminded of her deceased husband.

Horatio nodded and continued, "The evidence will tell me and my team what happened, but if your daughter was present, she might make it easier to find the person who did this."

Jennifer looked down at her daughter, tears blurring her eyes. Breathing deeply, she looked at the lieutenant's trustworthy, sensitive and compassionate gaze. With an unsteady hand, she caressed her daughter's head of hair, placed a kiss on the top of her head and moved away hugging her upper body.

Nodding, silently thanking Jen, Horatio took a seat next to the little girl.

TBC…


	5. Confusion

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Chapter 5: Confusion

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Sandy's eyes stayed focused on nothing in particular, staring out into space until Horatio's deep voice got her attention.

"Sandy, hi - my name is Horatio."

The child shifted her gaze to her side, then to her mother who was slowly making her way down the driveway.

Wanting to erase the girl's worrisome countenance, he soothed, "It's okay - your mom's just going to walk for a bit so you and I can talk. I know this is hard, but do you think you can try to remember what happened and describe it to me?"

Just as he was breaking through to the girl, the loud sound of a shot being fired startled everyone.

It was almost as if it happened in slow motion. Sandy was nodding then immediately covered her ears like a reflex at the sound of the gunshot. At the same time, Horatio reached for his gun, getting up to go around the house, not noticing the patrol cop calling for backup.

He placed a hand on Sandy's shoulder, then pointed to her mom and the little girl ran to the safety of her mother's arms.

Horatio hunkered low, briskly making his way around the house. Heart pounding loudly in his chest and throat, he thought it might just burst out. Normally, in this type of situation, he'd be high on adrenaline, but focused and relatively calm. Now, knowing Calleigh was inside, he couldn't help the response his body gave.

Through the sheer curtains of the patio door blowing in the wind, Horatio caught sight of the situation.  
His body stiffened at the sight of Calleigh having a gun drawn on her.

Unfortunately, this was going to go down slower than anticipated because the good shot Caine only had a good view of Calleigh. He would have to wait until he'd get a clear view of the shooter.

Calleigh was trembling slightly, arms raised at ear level as ordered by the shooter.

"Try something like that again and I won't miss you next time!" the gruff masculine voice spat at her. Horatio deduced the man had aimed at her.

"Now, slowly put your gun on the floor," he ordered. Calleigh stood still, holding her ground.

Horatio willed her mentally to do as told, but knowing very well that she might think he had already left the scene. Backup officers took place behind Horatio, but he motioned them to stay back. He was going in, it was Calleigh's only chance of getting out of this safe.

Calleigh slowly brought one arm down.

"Easy, blondie," the man demanded as she got hold of her weapon.

"Put it down at your feet." Calleigh hesitated, trying to think of a way to get out of this.

Facing the non responsive woman, the man urged, "Move!"

After completing the task of pushing her gun away with her foot, the man advanced wanting to pick up Calleigh's gun, and that's when Horatio had a clear view of him.

"Hold it!" Horatio commanded. "Put the gun down, now!"

The man's eyes were terrifyingly dark, shifting from Calleigh to Horatio than back. Horatio could hear the erratic breathing and see the profuse sweating covering the man's face and neck. He was about to blow at any instant. Change of plans, Horatio thought. He wouldn't push the obviously angered man because it would probably end up pushing the wrong buttons. Instead, he'd talk him through it, diffuse the bomb.

"What the fuck? Who the hell are you? A fucking cop?" The black haired man shook slightly, gun brandishing, but firmly gripped.

"Caine. I work the crime scenes," Horatio wanted to tell him that it wasn't a smart move to come back to the scene of the crime and things weren't looking too good for him here, shooting going down or not. He couldn't take the assailant down, fearing that Calleigh would get shot first. "What's your name, partner?"

"Oh no, you're not getting me with this bullshit small talk," he lifted his gun to Calleigh's head. "I'll shoot her. I swear I will!"

"How 'bout I call you Bob?" Horatio kept steady hands on his weapon, arms solid as rock.

"Bob, take the gun off her and face me." Horatio heard Calleigh's short intake of breath. She knew he knew what he was doing... she had to trust him, but her nerves were raw.

"I want her." His answer chilled Horatio and made Calleigh shiver with repulsion.

Horatio, normally inclined to ask why, refused to, not wanting to hear what the reason might be.

"Bob - " Horatio's voice was tinted with assertive warning, "You haven't thought this through... if anything happens to her, it's not going to be good for you."

Horatio had enough of this. If something happened to Calleigh, "Bob" wouldn't make it, Horatio thought audaciously.

"She fucking ruined it!" Fearlessly, the shooter moved closer to Calleigh. "That bitch is gonna pay."

"Why, Bob? Why did she ruin it for you? Because she alerted me? What were you doing still here, Bob?"  
Horatio realized that it was going to be impossible to eliminate the threat without gunfire if "Bob" moved any closer to Calleigh.

"You weren't looking to kill Mr. Morris... you weren't even looking to rob him, were you? You wanted to get the girl..." Horatio finished his sentence in his head: "But, dad stood in the way, protecting her."

The man shook his head, "The girl wasn't even home." The fact that he wasn't after the youngest daughter didn't change what Horatio thought of this predator.

"No," Horatio held his tone of voice as much as he could from turning snooty, "no, she wasn't, but you didn't know that - And when a beautiful blonde arrived at the scene, you decided to stick around, huh?"

The man eyes tunneled and centered on Calleigh, proudly acknowledging his desire for her. "You should tell him to watch what he says, baby."

Calleigh not only sensed his desire to be closer to her, but also the desire to cut Horatio out of the picture.  
"What, because you think I care?" Calleigh shifted, changing the atmosphere, searching to get a response from "Bob".

When the man's eyes widened slightly, completely surprised at her answer, Horatio, utterly aware that he was excluded, squeezed the trigger.

TBC…


	6. Freefalling

_000_

Chapter 6: Freefalling

_000_

Eyes fixed on the target, determined to get Calleigh out of danger, Horatio pulled the trigger and the bullet hit "Bob" in the shoulder - the impact making him fall back, hitting the floor heavily and losing hold of his gun.

Horatio moved closer, keeping his gun on the man until he was good and ready to avert the barrel.

When the police backup rushed in, grabbing the abandoned gun, holding the perpetrator in check while calling an ambulance, Horatio let his arm fall loosely, almost carelessly, to his side.

He slowly ambled, and for the first time in a long time, aimlessly.

The bleeding man, never saying a word, looked up at Horatio with malice and Horatio was infuriated enough to take a moment to look into the face of evil. He crumbled his hope for vengeance with a powerful look of sheer intensity. From eyes sharp as razor blades pinning "Bob", Horatio's eyes softened times fifty when they fell on Calleigh. Eyes locked onto her, he never even glanced down as he unhurriedly re-holstered his weapon.

This was twice he'd almost lost her.

An officer was checking her, making sure she was all right and all she said was that she was fine. Repeatedly.

She did grab her chest, though. The experience certainly doing wonders on her already weakened body.

Horatio didn't ask her if she was okay, didn't smile with sympathy or give her a pat on the back like the other officers did; he moved in while her eyes were still strained on the man responsible for all of this, quietly requesting her attention, "hey - "

It took her some time before she turned her head and faced him with emotion filled eyes.

He moved his hand to take her arm off her chest, rubbing his thumb on her alabaster skin. Linking his fingers, he comforted her.

Calleigh was defenseless, struggling against her teary eyes. He had not only reached out to her... physically but also in front of fellow officers.

"I... I want to go with you," she paused, "when you take him in... for questioning." She was having a hard time getting the words out.

"Shhh... Shh. Breathe, slowly. In and out," Horatio quelled. Calleigh gradually relaxed under his touch, willingly held back from saying a word to fully enjoy this moment of reconciliation.  
"You're fine," he convinced her, giving aid, "you're fine."  
No, he wasn't reaching out to her, he was just being her teammate, looking out for her... She wanted to run away, to go home or simply leave.

She wondered if she would one day understand this man. One minute, he seemed to be as close as a lover in a secret hideout, the next, as distanced as a CSI analyzing evidence.

"You're..." she too a deep calming breath, "you're going to go with him, right? Follow him to the hospital - "

"Right now, my concern is you."

He saw her breaking down again in front of him.

"C'mere," Horatio invited, without warning, encircling her with one arm. She was straight-faced aside from the tears, not knowing how to react, what to think of him. "I'll take you home," he said lowly. He figured he wasn't going to leave her the chance to argue with him. Stunning, how he knew exactly what she wanted. And again, he reached out to her...

Was the dizziness from being tired after what happened in the lab, from the gun scare or from Horatio finally taking small steps forward? She had no clue. Everything was jumbled up in her mind and she had mixed feelings about it all.

"It's your choice," she said softly, looking up at him, hoping he'd understand the meaning in her words.

Horatio nodded, smiling imperceptibly.

She wondered abstractly if he'd catch her if she fell? Or, better than that, if he'd catch her if she fainted?  
Her thoughts died as her brain stayed completely alert to her sense of touch. Electricity coursed from where he had placed his hand at her lower back, prickling to the top of her head as he accompanied her out to the Hummer.

He dropped Calleigh off, leaving the engine running, exiting the vehicle with her.

The battle was fierce. All he wanted was to hold her, but he couldn't let his mind surrender control. It was as if he drowned voluntarily, killing the righteousness of professionalism and the image he had of himself, and that, to buoy his heart. A heart that he had kept hidden from the world in the chasm inside of him, only using empathy briefly for the victims.

"If you need anything - you call me." Horatio's heart finally slowed. She'd be okay here, he made sure of that, as the surroundings suddenly went back to normal like the calm gently lapping water of a pool after an Olympic race.

He took his vine leaf stance and watched her make her way to the side door of her condominium building. Then, turned away at the exact instant that she glanced back over her shoulder.

Her gaze dropped to the ground with disillusionment. She unlocked the glass door and purposely stayed in the vestibule to watch him drive off, which he did, a moment later. She slowly removed her hand pressed against the glass and turned to go inside.

With everything that had taken place in the last few days, the contemplation it brought, Horatio found himself mulling over his feelings for her again. At least, she'd be all right at home and he knew he needed to give her some time to cope with the events.  
He needed time himself, although for another reason. Specifically, to deal with his feelings and make up his mind on what he was going to do about them because it was impossible to manage or suppress them.

What, because you think I care? — Those words repeated constantly in his head, as he steered the Hummer through the city. The ever-confident Lieutenant Caine suddenly wasn't absolutely convinced that she had said that only to get Bob's attention and he couldn't help feeling as though she had put a knife inside of him.

What had happened to them? He tried to think back and remember where and when things had gone wrong. Had he said or done something wrong? He felt the ground crumble and cave in under him and suddenly he was freefalling... no longer her friend, not even her partner.

Angry at his feelings for placing him in a situation where he needed to go against his professional morals, he realized he needed to take the chance for the sake of saving his heart.

He parked the Hummer in front of the CSI building and turned the engine off. Leaning against the steering wheel, he tried to recompose himself before falling into his role as a leader. Once he'd step through those doors, he thought, he'd be expected to stand tall as the case progressed, to show the team to victory. He had one of the assailants in the hospital... he was sure it was at least a two man's job. The other was still out there and, for the family's respite and for Calleigh, he swore he'd hunt him down.

_000_

Walking down the lab's hallway, Eric intercepted him.  
"Hey, H. I got good news... we found the knife that killed Mr. Morris."

"Any prints?" Horatio narrowed his eyes, trying to be attentive.

"Yup. One Jeremy Shadow popped up through AFIS. Assaulted a young girl a year ago. College student - lives in an apartment nearby."

"Okay, you know what Eric, I want you to go over there. Take Speed with you."

"Speed's working on, uh, Calleigh's evidence." It was hard to be reminded of what had happened to Calleigh.

"Tell him to hand it over to Valera and take Frank with you." Horatio's eyes were looking directly at the young man's face, but somehow they seemed empty. Eric knew his boss was doing his job, giving out instructions, but also knew what was on his mind.

"H - "

"Yeah?" Horatio blinked twice, refocusing on Eric.

"I'm really glad Calleigh's okay. I mean, if you hadn't been there..."

Horatio shook his head. He didn't even want to think it.  
And then it hit him... He realized abruptly that he didn't just love her; he was in love with her and had to be with her to make her happy... to make himself happy. His life would be forlorn without her.

"It could have been a lot worse. I keep thinking that if I had refused to let her take the call and had taken it myself, none of this would have happened..."

"Rest easy, Eric," Horatio placed a hand on Eric's shoulder, "No one could have predicted this." Though, he still felt responsible. "I don't want you getting a nose bleed again, okay, Eric?"

The younger CSI nodded, trying to calm down.

Horatio changed the mood with a somewhat telling argument, "You know how stubborn she is and how she always manages to get her way..."

Eric smiled, "yeah."

Horatio pat Eric's shoulder, "Well, I think that, this time, I'm going to let her have it again," he smiled gently.

Mystified, Eric frowned.

Horatio continued, lifting an eyebrow, "But not until I have a little chat with the-so-called Bob." Horatio quickly strode off with intent, leaving Eric behind to guess what that was all about.

TBC...


	7. Resolve

_000_

Chapter 7: Resolve

_000_

"Hey, you gonna be alright there, Delko?" Speed asked, peering at his friend as they trudged towards the apartment building where the suspect, Jeremy, resided.

Eric looked at him. "Yeah, why?"

"Well, I don't want you being distracted if Jerry, here, tries anything."

"I got you covered," Frank retorted, surprising them.

Speed looked back at Tripp and answered uneasily, "Yeah, okay."

The three men continued their way toward Jeremy's residence and Eric glanced over at his partner, "Why would you ask me that?"

"I don't know..." Speed shrugged, "I guess I don't want to have another CSI going down..."

Eric didn't take Speed's comment well, not seeing it as concern, and replied accordingly, "It wouldn't be because you're gun shy, would it?"

"No, Eric," Speed responded quickly, but knew his friend was right. He promptly delivered a comeback, "At least I don't have to worry about nose bleeds - "

"Hey!" Tripp shut them up with his brunt tone, "Do I have to babysit the two of you?"

"Sorry Frank," Eric, like a pure Catholic, felt the weight of guilt. If Horatio were here, he'd tell them to focus.

Speed simply seconded Eric, mumbling a confirmation.

_000_

Horatio could tell Shawn - formerly known as Bob - was lying. He hesitated, made long frequent pauses, made mistakes in his speech giving brief answers.  
All sure signs of a lying jerk, Horatio concluded.

Shawn changed posture uncomfortably again, avoiding eye contact.

He was nervous. Horatio could tell and he was going to use it against him.  
"There was somebody else with you, Shawn. You couldn't have done this alone - that's why dad didn't make it. You want to tell me what happened? Why we found Mr. Morris dead?"

"I'm not telling you jack," he hissed then squirmed from the pain in the hospital bed. He used his good arm to rearrange the sheet, ignoring the officer.

"The good news is, Shawn, you don't have to." Horatio stared the weak man down. "We found your partner's knife, the same knife that killed Mr. Morris."

Shawn looked up, "He didn't have a knife. He had a gun."

He was going to regret having said that.

Horatio slowly removed his sunglasses from his eyes for the first time since he'd entered the bright hospital room.

"That's a very stupid thing to say to me, Shawn. The knife was a weapon of opportunity - my team and I knew that already. You want to know what I think happened, Shawn?"

Shawn looked around the room, at the detective in the doorway. "Doesn't look like I have a choice now, does it?"

"Nope." Horatio paused, looked away for a short instant, gathering his thoughts then, looked back at Shawn, "I think you teamed up with Jeremy because he had a gun and you didn't. The plan was to rob Mr. Morris, but you had other ideas..."

With the evidence gathered and a little reconstruction, the scene replayed in Horatio's mind...

Shawn was taking more time than necessary for the robbery, obviously looking for the young girl, and Mr. Morris got a chance to look at his assailants. In a panic and angered by the fact that Sandy's older sister wasn't home, he urged Jeremy to kill the dad. Thinking about his retraceable firearm, Jeremy gave the weapon to Shawn and picked up an accessible murder weapon; the kitchen knife, and slit Mr. Morris's throat.

Horatio stared him down, becoming aware of Shawn's dilated pupils.

Shawn had a commanding presence; had willed his friend into murder, but his impulses got the best of him and his body won over his mental capabilities. He kept Jeremy's gun, stayed hidden, hoping to get a chance to see the 15-year-old girl. He had some will and real guts to stay hidden in the backyard while the police and criminalists went over the crime scene, but then, Calleigh came along and he made the mistake of switching to another plan.

"Detective Duquesne surprised you by equating your onset with one of her own and you couldn't hold back from taking a shot at her. Lucky for you, you didn't injure her." Horatio was all over this sick excuse for a human being.

"If you know everything then why did you come here?"  
With every word said, Shawn only made it easier to pin him.

Horatio looked him in the eye, noting the fast batting of his eyes.

"Hm." Horatio smiled a brief completely icy smile, "to tell you that as soon as you get out of this bed, you'll be moving into a 6 by 6 cell."

Shawn had better hope that the inmates would control their urges a little better than him, Horatio thought, walking out of the room.

_000_

Calleigh sat on her bed, tears streaming down her face. She couldn't stop them. It felt good to feel something, even sadness. Here she was crying for a man again. She started life crying for her father because she never did seem to do the right thing and wasn't able to help him, then, after Hagen left her, she cried for days and, now Horatio was never going to be more than just a friend.

She cursed her selfishness. Horatio Caine was a righteous man and, in her position, wanting him for herself was impossible. All this time, her mind had refused to believe that, hanging on to the faith she had in her heart.

She felt the love she had for him growing with every passing day and frequently thought of running away, not being able to resist being anything other than herself around him.

Suddenly wishing there was a delete button existing somewhere so she could shut down everything she felt inside, she tried to think of anything to take her mind off things. Cleaning hadn't helped, eating chocolate supposedly an anti-depressant hadn't worked and watching a sad movie just made things worse and she had resorted to shutting it off before the end, before breaking down.

What was left besides the only thing she had ever seen her parents do? She walked over to the liquor cabinet and pulled it open, kneeling before it. Eyes roamed over the labels, she gently moved bottles around with a clink, searching for the one that would make her numb.

She stood, holding the bottle in her hands and set it down on her living room table. Sitting on the couch, she placed a glass beside it and wiped her tearful eyes with a movement of her sleeve-covered shoulder.

Holding the large bottle's neck with one hand, she covered the cap with the other and stayed completely still for a long moment, feeling remorse. A shaky hand untwisted the cap and the strong smell of alcohol reached her nostrils. She bit her lip. This wasn't like her; Calleigh Duquesne never gave in. Yet, here she was, tipping the bottle and pouring herself a drink.

TBC...


	8. Embrace

_000_

Chapter 8: Embrace

_000_

After having stayed in the parked Hummer for numerous minutes, Horatio unbuckled and used the steering wheel to pull himself up as he prepared to step out of the vehicle. He had gone home to change his clothes from this morning embedded with sweat from the work and sticky weather. He took the opportunity to eat something, not at all hungry, but knowing very well that his body needed substance to keep going. The case was over now.

Walking in the direction of the dimly lit building on this cool Miami evening, tonight was going to be about Calleigh, about his heart, about their love for one another.

He ambled slowly to the clear glass door and entered. Looking over the residents' names, he found hers and the number to her condo.

He had never been in her home and it was making him slightly anxious, mostly because she wasn't expecting him.

He lifted his arm, finger closing in on the button, but held back another minute wondering what he was going to say.

Abruptly, the image of her in a hospital bed and of a gun drawn on her shocked him into reality and pushed him to go on. It had never been mere concern and the fear of not being there for her, of losing her, was bigger than the one he felt now as he determinedly set off to do what was best for both of them.

Having finally pushed the button, he waited quite impatiently for her voice.

It came riddled with sorrow, "Yeah - who is it?"  
He instantly missed her lively drawling accent.

"Calleigh, it's me." Horatio waited for a reaction, but there was none. "Listen, I'm not here as your colleague." It somewhat stunned her that he thought of them as being coworkers and not employer and employee. Though, you never knew what to expect with Horatio, she thought, he certainly was one of a kind.

He moved closer and lowered his voice, which caused her to listen more intently – as if she wasn't already completely enthralled by his voice. "I know why you've been acting this way... I'll apologize right here, over this talking device, if I have to." Although, deep inside, he'd much rather apologize face to face. He wasn't an over-the-phone type of person - no matter what the subject was. "I know I've been hurting you and, even though never meaning to is not an excuse, I'm sorry."

His voice was breaking, raw with emotion. "I'm so sorry, Calleigh."

There was a brief silence then the buzz resonated inviting him up. He felt as though he'd never heard a better sound.

He had difficulty fighting against the strength of his heart and resorted in taking long strides, climbing the stairs two steps at a time. He could have taken the elevator, but it seemed more like him to freely make the steps himself. Hand lightly holding onto the banister, he reached her floor and slowly slid forward, letting go. Hand grasping the doorknob, he crossed another barrier without looking back.

He made his way down the hallway and stopped in front of her door. There was no doubling back now; she was most likely waiting for him. If he could have seen through her door, he'd seen her leaning against it, looking into the peephole.

He lifted his arm, hand in a fist ready to knock, but Calleigh pulled the door open before he had the chance to.

He dropped his arm to his side as she backed up with the door, half hiding behind it as she held it open, offering to share her entire personal space with him.

Her hair shrouding her face, hands holding the door, Horatio waited for her eyes to meet his. In an instant, she used a hand to smooth her hair back over her shoulder and, slowly, met his gaze.  
He'd never seen such sadness in her bright ordinarily cheerful green eyes.

Horatio breathed in, then sighed heavily releasing his breath, shoulders slouching in the process.

Head hung, but eyes securely locked with hers, he murmured, "I'm yours."

Calleigh frowned, moving aside, revealing herself to him, but kept hold of the door for some sort of support.

Looking effortlessly striking, wearing thin grey cotton pants and a snug white tee shirt, she was baffled. "What?"

Head faintly shaking with emotion, eyes leaving hers briefly, he muttered, "You win."

"What are you talking about?" she asked, weighing every word.

"I love you and the only way for us to be happy is if I set myself free." His voice went throaty, "I'm willing to do that for you."

She shook her head, in disbelief. "Horatio Caine, I don't want you to let me have my way!" He smiled inwardly; the southern twang was back.

She brought her hand up to her forehead and covered her face, saying, "This is ridiculous..."

"You do have feelings for me." It sounded like a statement in need of confirmation.

She shook her head, realizing he was still out in the hallway. "Come inside." She tugged at his sleeve, pulling him in, then closed the door and faced him, "Yes, I do have feelings for you, but - "

"Then, what do you want?" He interrupted. He'd do anything. Anything to be where they were before.

She gave him a smile that could move heaven and earth. "You really wanna know what I want?"

"Tell me." He was almost begging. Something she had never seen or heard him do before.

"I want you," she put emphasis on the last word, "to have your way with me. I want you to show me that you love me, that you desire me... I want you to - " Calleigh's sentence was cut short by Horatio pinning her against the side wall. Hard enough for it to please her, soft enough so not to hurt her. It was the perfect most engaging move he'd ever made.

She was delighted and couldn't contain the joy from bubbling up from the pit of her stomach, embracing her heart, and throbbing to her throat causing her to gasp. What a way to take hold of her!

His mouth dangerously close to hers, she shivered helplessly, melting like chocolate on a hot stovetop.

She let her edgy side out, asking silkily, "Well now, what are you planning on doing now that you have me at your mercy?"

"Mmm... plenty," he replied in a husky voice.

She blushed with expectancy, "You're certainly - "

She was cut off by Horatio's finger, "Shhh, don't say a word." His finger slid off her bottom lip. "I just need to know one thing, Calleigh..." he said suavely, breaking away from her voluptuous lips and make eye contact with her once more.

"And what's that?" she asked, prompting him to continue, feeling his hands move down her body.

He smiled, eyes soaking in her every reaction, "When you said you didn't care... it wasn't just to distract Shawn, was it?"

"Him and... you."

Horatio grinned. "It worked."

She blinked and realized he had closed the space between their expectant lips.

Arms around each other, they backed up into Calleigh's living room and Horatio caught sight of the bottle of liquor. He stopped, pulling back slightly, and looked at her, not with accusing eyes, but she shamefully hid her face anyway.

He didn't hesitate and drew her close, holding her tightly to his body, knowing that she needed that and rested his chin atop her head as he caressed her blond locks.

Encircled, Calleigh couldn't flee and, when Horatio glanced down, lifting her chin, beckoning her to look at him, she gave explanation, "A moment of weakness..." Calleigh knew it wasn't the right way to contemplate things. "I swear I didn't take any. I've been meaning to get rid of all those bottles..."

"I believe you," he whispered and he honestly did. Not because he didn't smell alcohol on her breath or taste any, but because he trusted her to do the right thing. "We'll do that together."

One hand held her side; the other was pressed against her back. She felt his fingers, making small circles like a barely detectable massage, sending a hair-raising current through her body.

He took her hands, holding them as he spoke. "I don't want to be anywhere else, Calleigh, and I'm sorry it took so long for me to realize it. Whatever you're feeling right now, whatever made you want to drown your sorrow, I'm here for you... I'm not going anywhere. And, if you feel like talking, I'm here to listen."

Calleigh left his hands and instantly surrendered to an amorous hug, nuzzling his neck, fitting harmoniously against his warm body.

She looked up at him with tender eyes, "You saved me. Again and again..." She pressed her chin to his chest, eyes full of love.

"I could say the same thing about you, sweetheart."

His eyes shone with adoration, as he fondly brushed her cheek with light fingers. "So, do we agree - no more tears, no more loneliness, no more games?"

"Deal. Except for the game part..." she smiled mischievously, deliberately making her voice go deep and sexy, thickening her accent, "Now, where were we?"

Horatio's eyes shone with delight, "I believe..." he scooped Calleigh up, "we were here."

Horatio carried her over his shoulder and Calleigh laughed, "What are you doing?" She tapped his back, then grabbed his shirt, "Where are you taking me?"

"I'm going to show you that I love you," he paused before finishing his line, wanting it to have the full impact he intended. "Again and again and again..."

THE END


End file.
